Random Thought

So I am realizing that input doesn't match output. Maybe that is the role I am supposed to play. I'll figure it out soon. Hopefully. Well, maybe it does in certain areas and I am just not looking or noticing it.

shoes

I just had an orgasm. These heels are absolutely gorgeous! I can't believe it. I would never be able to walk in them but I can admire from afar. They are by Gianmarco Lorenzi (140). AHH MAZZ INGG

IM CRAZY!

So I realized when I do meet D, I really would never be able to compete with NM... he might be joking but I am sure his ass really like/ loves her. Although she is "family", there is something about her that he cant get out of his mind. YIIIKKKEEESSSS for me huh, but I will still have a relationship with him haha. There is something about me that I am sure if people knew me well enough would notice. I live in a serious fantasy world. I want it all but I don't at the same time. I wouldn't mind working a normal 9-5 business related job as long as I net (in my pocket) at least 70k per year. I would need to take care of my mom! I have work experience, well-rounded, and too educated not to reach that goal. I am getting side tracked, but I wanna party and have the celebrity benefits. I want to go to clubs with Jayz and Beyonce and be VIP, not on the crowded floor. I want to be invited to album release parties and sit with Angela Yee and her crew or even Necole Bitchie. Ms. Yee looks like someone I would want to befriend seriously. We share the same work ethic from my perception. Party all night but when 7 or 6 am hits she is on the train ready to go to work and that how I am too. I want to be at the VMAs, BET Awards, and Red Carpet events. I want that lifestyle but not necessarily the one with the fame. If it happens then it happens by association but that is not my main focus. I just want the perks and I am not sure how to do that. I am in love with this life and I feel like I deserve it and I should be able to have it. You have to know your self worth and I know its more than possible. I will  make this happen. Like for instance Drake had a concert in Miami and this girl named Baller Alert got to go.. I am not sure if she paid for it or if it was given to her but at the end of the day, I wasn't able to do that and I want to be able to make that decision for where ever I stay in the world. Like I stated before I know I am crazy but I really need this to happen. Gotta meet the right person or people, so God and Universe I leave this to you. I put it in the Universe! :)

AHMAUD

Yesterday, September 5, 2010 at 10:58 am i witnessed the birth of a beautiful healthy baby boy. Words cant explain the emotions that ran through my body. I saw it from the beginning to end and I am amazed at the female body. we endure a shit load of things... it ABSOLUTELY AMAZES ME!! Welcome to the world Ahmaud :)
you will be surrounded by nothing but love.

kanye west: tell em how you feel

Advisory: This is a long post

Kanye West is on a rolllllll this morning. he has taken to his twitter account (@kanyewest) to really let the world know his struggle. it started off with him giving us free music. he announced a couple of weeks ago that he would start this thing called G.O.O.D Friday, where he would drop a new song. This week's song was called "Devil In A New Dress". it reminds me of the old Kanye, first album Kanye... but then it took a turn. he said it was for the fans and then he let loose. Read the tweets below:

One thing that he said was:


I accept the idea (ideal) that perception is reality

When I say perception is reality I mean whatever you think is the truth... is your truth

these words have so much truth in them, its crazy! i have always been interested in the entertainment/music business and whether that is celeb gossip or the a&r approach it has always invoked something in me. i wish i could have a conversation with Kanye and let him know some things. he probably has already heard them but hey...

i am an accountant and from 9 to 6 Monday thru Friday that is what i do. its my job, its not Samantha. I have to act professional and cater to clients and customers because that is what pays me and allows me to enjoy life but after 6 on Friday, i do my own thing, i am not longer at the mercy of corporate america. i work 40 hr/week but you, Kanye, work 140 hr/week (i am allotting 4 hours of sleep a day; if that even happens). there is barely time for you to show the world who you really are because you are always working. going to the airport, studio, supermarket, movies, spending time with the fam, little things that bring joy is a fashion or tv show and people are going to be waiting for you. i could go on and on but i am not really speaking to him so whatevs lol but i have always loved Kanye so this personal growth is wonderful to me. him and i kinda have the same problem which is why i am so passionate about him/it. we try to save and help people and have them see what we see is right by any means possible, but maybe, just maybe that is not our job. people will see things when they are willing to see things and us forcing them wont work. it will only backfire. i thought what he did for Beyonce and a few other occasions was wonderful but just not the way he did it, but in reality when is it really ever a good time. there has to be a good guy and there has to be a bad guy. all in all, i think that this rant was a great way to let people into his world and mind and maybe people will love him like his true fans. people see money and fame and forget that Kanye is made out of the same stuff we are.

Fame

I am going to welcome myself to my brand new blog. Currently it is 2:20 in the morning, and I just finished watching Fame (2009). I absolutely LOVED the movie. A lot of people don't like musicals but I am a fan of them. Something that also made me extremely happy was that there was ballet incorporated into it. I always wanted to be a Ballerina. Music and dance has always been a passion for me :). The end of the movie made me shed a tear but def happy tears. It was like a blast from the past; I used to dance back in the day.