Some nonsense I wrote 12/20/10 lol

Happy Holidays!

Christmas was relaxing and my Birthday is 2 weeks away! I found my dress and its sparkly... I will look fab!

I am writing this post because I have a few things on my mind. BET did very well this weekend. On Christmas Day, they had a Girlfriends marathon. I watched it from the time I woke up until the last episode at 4am. I was addicted and would like seasons 5 through 8. There are four characters and they all have completely different personalities which I love. I normally like a group of friends because that is how i travel. Joan, the den mother, always there for her girls, stressed, uptight, wants marriage and kids, but cant have a successful relationship. Toni, the gold digger, she is always looking or talking about money, she wants stability, considers herself the prettiest one, and self absorbed, conceited, and a playa. Lynn, the free spirt, she is sexually active, and organic. Maya, the ghetto fabulous one, she is married and has a son, hood but classy over time, and a very realistic out-view on life.

My friends would say that I am Toni. I would have to agree, but I am Toni in a funny way. Instead of the part where Toni is self-absorbed and selfish, replace it with Joan's character. I am the dependable friend. I am always listening to my friend's problems and providing the support they need, so take that horrible aspect away. Through out the years, I have come into myself and think I am pretty. I used to have serious issues with my look until I realized that I can't compare myself to others and enhance my beauty naturally.

So Toni had me thinking about myself. She wants a man that is going to make her feel secure. Financially and sexually. I see nothing wrong with that. Money makes the world go round, whether you want to believe it or not. I am a little bit more intune with Love so I would need that too but anyways, I need a man with money, scratch that I will have a man with money and I myself will have money. I am very good at being loyal and making people happy as long as I am happy.If i can get what want when I want it... you will be extremely happy. My stamina is very high and a lot of people have yet to know or experience that aspect of me. So i am going of on a tangent but the purpose of this was to ask if I need to deal with life differently.

I would love to have someone to share this crazy world with but it seems as if the people that I attract, I am not attracted to! This is a constant issue. I have people like KAPP Dex, but those are not my type. They are kinda but i am not atracted to them, how am I supposed to get down with the get down if I am picturing Trey Songz or Idris Elba. That is just wrong on so many accounts. You dont have to be fly where you make me look bad lol but you have to complement me and like i said. I think i look good lol.

But maybe this is a sign that i need to stop being "shallow" and the man of my dreams (money, loyalty, god fearing, and passionate) will come in a different package.

this will be my birthday song.....

clearly i want a better version but i loved this for some reason

2010 bday song, I HAD A GREAT NIGHT :)))


JUST A LIL EXTRA...

music to my ears

97 Seconds....

I love this man. He is crazy and interesting. He featured my favorite song off of his album, so you know I had to put it up on my blog. I don't know if he worships the Devil, if he is bipolar, or just creative, but whatever it is it has me hooked. I hope he isn't into that Devil shit and if so God please forgive me because the music is amazing....Enjoy

Glee

I LOVE GLEE! AND BECAUSE I CANT CONTROL MYSELF I AM GOING TO GET ALL THE CDS.. THEY ARE ALL THE SONGS SUNG BY THE GLEE CAST! I JUST WROTE THREE PAPERS TONIGHT BECAUSE OF THEM SO I THINK THEY DESERVE IT LOL

BELOW IS THE EPISODE THAT MADE ME WATCH EVERY EPISODE IN SEASON 1 AND CONTINUE TO FOLLOW IT
THE EPISODE IS CALLED HOME! ABSOLUTELY AMAZING AND I SHED A TEAR...

whenever i get weary.....

my new artist

Today J Cole has dropped a mixtape called Friday Night Lights... i want to say THANK YOU!!! i needed new musica and I wasn't really a fan but this had made me a fan! I will buy the album when it drops but i think that he has sooo many good song and this should be an album for realllllll!! goood guyyyy! two thumbs up to j cole

Whats My Name?

This is the new video from Rihanna and the love of my life, Drake. He has a lot of people that feel like this about him but my love is true lolol...... same shit everyone is saying but oh well.. I KNOW THE DEAL lol. I hope that I can love a man the way I love him! It is really sick hahaha

P.S. he looks great in that UMASS hoodie... coming from an UMASS Alum :)

crush :)

I have a new crush lol. He isnt someone that I know of course but his name is Brandon Jennings. He is a cutieeee! hot tottie ! He plays for the Bucks, but because I am a creep and TheYBF.com taught me well, i think he is wifed by Teyana Taylor. She is def a bball head so i am sure they have plenty to talk about ;-P lol. Oh well  huh! well this is what he looks like. Tat tat tat tat tat tat tatted up ;-D

Random Thought

So I am realizing that input doesn't match output. Maybe that is the role I am supposed to play. I'll figure it out soon. Hopefully. Well, maybe it does in certain areas and I am just not looking or noticing it.

shoes

I just had an orgasm. These heels are absolutely gorgeous! I can't believe it. I would never be able to walk in them but I can admire from afar. They are by Gianmarco Lorenzi (140). AHH MAZZ INGG

IM CRAZY!

So I realized when I do meet D, I really would never be able to compete with NM... he might be joking but I am sure his ass really like/ loves her. Although she is "family", there is something about her that he cant get out of his mind. YIIIKKKEEESSSS for me huh, but I will still have a relationship with him haha. There is something about me that I am sure if people knew me well enough would notice. I live in a serious fantasy world. I want it all but I don't at the same time. I wouldn't mind working a normal 9-5 business related job as long as I net (in my pocket) at least 70k per year. I would need to take care of my mom! I have work experience, well-rounded, and too educated not to reach that goal. I am getting side tracked, but I wanna party and have the celebrity benefits. I want to go to clubs with Jayz and Beyonce and be VIP, not on the crowded floor. I want to be invited to album release parties and sit with Angela Yee and her crew or even Necole Bitchie. Ms. Yee looks like someone I would want to befriend seriously. We share the same work ethic from my perception. Party all night but when 7 or 6 am hits she is on the train ready to go to work and that how I am too. I want to be at the VMAs, BET Awards, and Red Carpet events. I want that lifestyle but not necessarily the one with the fame. If it happens then it happens by association but that is not my main focus. I just want the perks and I am not sure how to do that. I am in love with this life and I feel like I deserve it and I should be able to have it. You have to know your self worth and I know its more than possible. I will  make this happen. Like for instance Drake had a concert in Miami and this girl named Baller Alert got to go.. I am not sure if she paid for it or if it was given to her but at the end of the day, I wasn't able to do that and I want to be able to make that decision for where ever I stay in the world. Like I stated before I know I am crazy but I really need this to happen. Gotta meet the right person or people, so God and Universe I leave this to you. I put it in the Universe! :)

AHMAUD

Yesterday, September 5, 2010 at 10:58 am i witnessed the birth of a beautiful healthy baby boy. Words cant explain the emotions that ran through my body. I saw it from the beginning to end and I am amazed at the female body. we endure a shit load of things... it ABSOLUTELY AMAZES ME!! Welcome to the world Ahmaud :)
you will be surrounded by nothing but love.

kanye west: tell em how you feel

Advisory: This is a long post

Kanye West is on a rolllllll this morning. he has taken to his twitter account (@kanyewest) to really let the world know his struggle. it started off with him giving us free music. he announced a couple of weeks ago that he would start this thing called G.O.O.D Friday, where he would drop a new song. This week's song was called "Devil In A New Dress". it reminds me of the old Kanye, first album Kanye... but then it took a turn. he said it was for the fans and then he let loose. Read the tweets below:

One thing that he said was:


I accept the idea (ideal) that perception is reality

When I say perception is reality I mean whatever you think is the truth... is your truth

these words have so much truth in them, its crazy! i have always been interested in the entertainment/music business and whether that is celeb gossip or the a&r approach it has always invoked something in me. i wish i could have a conversation with Kanye and let him know some things. he probably has already heard them but hey...

i am an accountant and from 9 to 6 Monday thru Friday that is what i do. its my job, its not Samantha. I have to act professional and cater to clients and customers because that is what pays me and allows me to enjoy life but after 6 on Friday, i do my own thing, i am not longer at the mercy of corporate america. i work 40 hr/week but you, Kanye, work 140 hr/week (i am allotting 4 hours of sleep a day; if that even happens). there is barely time for you to show the world who you really are because you are always working. going to the airport, studio, supermarket, movies, spending time with the fam, little things that bring joy is a fashion or tv show and people are going to be waiting for you. i could go on and on but i am not really speaking to him so whatevs lol but i have always loved Kanye so this personal growth is wonderful to me. him and i kinda have the same problem which is why i am so passionate about him/it. we try to save and help people and have them see what we see is right by any means possible, but maybe, just maybe that is not our job. people will see things when they are willing to see things and us forcing them wont work. it will only backfire. i thought what he did for Beyonce and a few other occasions was wonderful but just not the way he did it, but in reality when is it really ever a good time. there has to be a good guy and there has to be a bad guy. all in all, i think that this rant was a great way to let people into his world and mind and maybe people will love him like his true fans. people see money and fame and forget that Kanye is made out of the same stuff we are.

Fame

I am going to welcome myself to my brand new blog. Currently it is 2:20 in the morning, and I just finished watching Fame (2009). I absolutely LOVED the movie. A lot of people don't like musicals but I am a fan of them. Something that also made me extremely happy was that there was ballet incorporated into it. I always wanted to be a Ballerina. Music and dance has always been a passion for me :). The end of the movie made me shed a tear but def happy tears. It was like a blast from the past; I used to dance back in the day.